Snippets & Sound Bites

Sooo... it has been a LONG time since I've been here. I don't know what it is about me and blogging. It's something that I just cant seem to let go of. In fact, this time around, I had a huge burning desire to come back. I kept putting it off... and putting it off... and then putting it off some more. So... here I am tonight... no longer putting it off. This is not really how I saw my reemergence going. In my mind, I was structuring out my blog posts in this sequential order that I wanted them to be read in. I was even thinking about outlining them. I'm not saying that this process of order will still not be something that happens going forward. The thing is... sometimes you just have to throw yourself into the game and polish it up as you go along. So... here I am... writing this unexpected intro.

The truth is, I don't really feel like spending 2 hours writing a post trying to catch you up on where I've been for the past 5 years (it's really not that interesting). If anything, we can catch up on the memories and moments of nostalgia as we go along. So... where is my head at tonight? I've been thinking about this concept of snippets & sound bites for the past 2 or 3 weeks. I feel like the era that we live in now is scattered with snippets & sound bites of everyone. You can go on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and whatever other social media is out there to get your daily dose of any person that you choose. While we have all of this socialness at our fingertips, my feelings on the matter actually originated from my "real life" existence. It is the feeling of being misunderstood that  haunts. I feel that I am a person that does not give you everything all at once. True to the season that I'm named after, certain people only get certain colors. It's not that I'm walking around wearing all of these masks... it's just that every facet of my life doesn't call for me to give away every color of my rainbow... and I am honestly I'm so layered that's hard to give it all away at once. It bothers me when I feel like people form opinions of me without having enough knowledge to do so. Nevertheless, that's just life... right? The truth is, you could hand yourself over like a bag of Skittles (taste the rainbow) and people will still get it so wrong.

In thinking about how I'd like to share myself with the masses, blogging has always been the way. I feel that it is here that you can get a more in depth look into what my heart, soul, and mind is like. Honestly, you may get things that people who know me... know me don't even get. This is simply because writing is my purest form of expression. I'll be honest, I don't really see blogging as the most serious thing in the world anymore. I've done it before on a super serious level. It was fun... but I just don't see blogging as a means to an end. I feel like I have other projects that I would like to turn into products (and hopefully profit on). For a while, that is what my focus has been. Aside from that, I feel a little inadequate for the times. It seems like nowadays everyone is so political. You have your social justice warriors out there fighting the good fight. Everyone is talking about healthcare, walls, and anything else that has to do with the administration. While all of that matters to me, I don't feel like I am as engaged as some of my peers. I have always just felt like God trumps (no pun intended) everything. It just seemed for the longest time, that everything could be filed under good and evil. That being said, I do feel the need to be more aware of things now that I'm older. I've opened up the bag and started to look at the events separately. I just don't like to let it consume me too much because it really can take me to a dark place. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this blog is just going to be more of a journal of sorts. I don't feel like I have this one particular niche like I see some others have. I am very passionate about the emotional well being of others and mental health. I am also very passionate about God and my faith. I'm passionate about a multitude of things... but if I had to pick topics to be passionate about... those would be at the top of the list. I feel like those things will no doubt trickle into my posts. So... as I said before... I guess I'm just saying that this is more like a journal of sorts. I'm not Huff Post Jr. or anything like that. On some level, my insecure thoughts wonder who really wants to read my emotional little thoughts. It's not like I am committing myself to essays and articles. There is no real theme for this blog. It's not necessarily a self help blog. It's not necessarily a beauty or fashion blog. It's just a variety of things and thoughts. I guess I just have to get out of my own head and my own way. This is my passion. I can't... nor do I need to be anyone more (or less) than who I am. So... this is me. I have NO real idea where this blog is going. I just know that I want to share my thoughts on different things. Maybe we can all grow together. This post is so completely impromptu... but I have to push publish... like now. I'm terrified.

More to come.

Love you!

Autumn

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