Struggle

Sooo, today the thought about struggling came into my mind. This is not the financial struggle, but rather the struggle to keep it all together. This year has been an interesting year in terms of lessons & growth. I wish I could've be one of those people that told you everything that is going on behind the scenes of my social media platforms, but I've just never been that person. Just know that a lot that has nothing to do with anything that anyone on here can really see (unless you know me in person) goes on. All of the lessons have changed me. I actually don't feel like the same person that I even started out this year. And while this may sound sad, it's actually a good thing. When my birthday came this year, I said this was the year of "I don't give a fudge". This may sound harsh, but what I really mean is I'm just learning to go with the true flow of life. And I just can't be so worried about a lot of things anymore.

Anyway, I wanted to keep this a bit short. So...struggle. A lot of times I feel like I struggle. I struggle to be the perfect 8-5er. I struggle to be perfectly beautiful. I struggle to be the perfect "starving artist". I struggle to be a gym Goddess. I struggle to with keeping up with time spent with God. And for so long I have just focused on the fact that I am struggling. And I feel shame because things can be such a struggle at times. Nevertheless, I have come to realize that struggling means I haven't stopped. Life can throw a lot at you. Some people just stop. I may go slower at times. And honestly, I may even just be thinking about moving forward while I'm actually not. But at least I'm still moving (even if it is slow), or my mind has not shut everything down. Idk. Ever since my birthday I have been trying to flip my thoughts. It's so easy to beat yourself up & feel like you're not doing enough. Instead of beating yourself up for falling off the wagon a bit, just celebrate the fact that you haven't abandoned the wagon. And know that you will find your groove again & maybe you will even be a little bit wiser in the process of it all.

Love,
Autumn 💕✨✨